


When You're Lucid (You're The Sweetest Thing)

by rosierey



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Lew's POV, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, New Years, Panic Attacks, Post-War, Pre-War, Slow Burn, Snippets, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosierey/pseuds/rosierey
Summary: "It's beautiful isn't it," Dick sighed. Lew looked at him, taking in his rosy cheeks and his freckles and his ridiculous crooked lips."Yeah. It is."





	1. Your Hand I Don't Touch

It was colder than yesterday. Every day it seemed to get colder and colder. Each time Lew woke in his foxhole, it was harder to open his eyes and get moving.

He shuddered and clambered over the dirt ridge, boots sinking an inch into the snow that had settled over night. A silent killer. He could hardly see an inch in front of him thanks to the wall of white fog that refused to lift or give them some kind of reprieve. He found his way to HQ on muscle memory alone, arms around his chest and numb hands tucked into his armpits. His ribs ached from coughing- a dull, tiring pain that made his breathes wheezy.

The smell of coffee guided him into the bunker. He couldn't help the small smile tugging at his lips when he was met with the sight of Dick. The man was hunched over the camping flame, hands cupped over the tin of simmering coffee (although 'coffee' is an exaggeration at best; 'soup' would be more appropriate given its consistency). The glimmer of warmth in his chest let Lew know he was still alive, that he hadn't wandered into purgatory somehow- which felt entirely possible in these endless woods.

Dick looked horrible. It was a close run between the two of them as to who looked worse, but wrapped in a scarf and trench coat Dick still shivered violently from head-to-toe. It was much more pathetic. His skin was as white as the show around them but far more sickly, like the churned up slush on a New Jersey roadside. Dick had always been pale, even for a redhead. Under the Taccoa summer sun he had been the palest man in the company, though surely had the most magnificent constellation of freckles. 

"Morning," Lew said gruffly, sitting on the up-turned ammo box across from the shuddering man who looked up with a stiff tilt of his shoulders.

"Morning," Dick returned quietly. His lips were so chapped and raw Lew felt compelled to lick his own.

Bastogne confused the senses and minds of the men- throwing them into fits of sadness, delirium and paranoia. The days seemed aimless and endless here, punctuated by bouts of explosions and yelling. It put them all on edge, and it never stopped. Whenever he walked the line Lew could see every man on his last never, and who could blame them- being sat on the edge of your seat twenty-four, seven would only mess with your mind.

Lew's symptoms were troubled sleep. Either it alluded him entirely or when it did come the dreams... They made him wish he would never sleep again. He was sure it was because of the lack of booze- he hadn't had a drink in almost a month, forcing himself into rationing his Vat 69 supply. Of course Dick was far too stoic for such behaviour, but he would sink into these periods of quiet that unnerved Lew to no end. He wasn't a chatty man, but the silence was always lined thickly with dark thoughts.

He was there now, Lew could see, so he let the quiet settle over him too like the flecks of snow on his helmet. Lifting the coffee-soup from the hissing flame, he poured them into two cups and pushed the more full of the two into Dick's trembling hands. Immediately Dick brought the metal to his lips and drank gratefully, red fingers clutching at the cup. Lew eyed his hands, sure it must be burning his fingers- though he could hardly feel the sting himself through the numbness.

"Have you heard from Dike?"

Dick took the cup from his lips reluctantly, licking them slowly to savour the warmth before answering.

"Not since... 0600, but Lip came by."

It frustrated Lew even more to see the men being handled so badly by another privileged officer with no field experience, or experience of any kind. They seemed to make up most of Battalion these days. He knew he was one of them, technically, but every time he was around them he found himself utterly bored and praying for the moment he could escape back here to Dick's side. What grated his nerves even more so was seeing how it frustrated Dick too. Every line on the man's face when Dike's name was brought up spoke of his deep desire to be back in Dike's position, instead of stuck back here with the yuppies.

"I'll talk to him. I'll find him and talk to him," Lew muttered, seriously considering some kind of accident with his rifle occurring when he did. Dick didn't looked reassured, he just gazed into the black liquid in his cup as if seeking something in the burnt depths- answers, maybe. When he didn't find what he wanted, he looked up at Lew instead. 

He wished he could tell Dick not to- don't look for answers here, there are only questions- but his heart ached to see Dick so lost. So, Lew met his eyes and tried to pour every sentiment into them, every unspoken word he wished he could say aloud. Something about this place made him feel like he was never alone, like there was something in whiteness on his heels everywhere he went who would steal his words if he uttered them.

Dick's lip quirked and, seemingly satisfied with whatever he saw, he turned his attention back to the cup for another sip. 

Lew forced himself to look away too, swallowing hard and gazing over the barrack and into the fog. His thoughts were noisy and he wished he could just reach out and touch Dick without fear of being caught. When the metal began to sear his fingers he did nothing, just glad to feel something other than numbness.

-

When he first laid eyes on Dick Winters, they were unpacking in their new barracks at Fort Bennings. All the Officer candidates milled about, shooting the breeze as they filled footlockers and straightened bed sheets.

Lew knew no one and hid his intimidation with busily organising his things. The chatter was boisterous and idle, the kind he used to turn his nose up to in Yale. Here it felt different, he felt different.

As he knelt beside his footlocker and carefully tucked away his books beneath his PT gear, he glanced up and saw the red headed man laid out on the bed beside his. His ankles were crossed and he had a book in his hand. There was an intriguing look of contemplation on his face, and Lew couldn't help watching his mouth as he licked his thumb to turn the page. The man didn't seem to notice Lew watching as they were called out to introductory classes, but for the rest of the day Lew constantly sort him out in the crowd.

It was the first Saturday they got a weekend pass when they finally exchanged more than a few words.

The men had talked about Richard Winters; 'he's too hard working' 'he never seems to take a break and have a drink with the boys' 'he's going to ruin the learning curve'. The one that really made Lew laugh was that Winters was a Mormon. Other than that he'd never given the rumours much thought, having been on the receiving end of far too many in the past. Being the son of a wealthy family and from Yale came with a rumour mill of its own, and he hadn't exactly helped matters with the drinking and attitude.

As the men dressed- murmuring excitedly about a local club where the single dame's hung out- Lew noticed Winters back on his bed, reading like he did every damn night. He lagged behind as the group began to leave to see if Winters followed. When he didn't budge, Lew stopped in the doorway.

"You gonna join us?" Lew asked. Winters looked up as if caught by surprised. Maybe the book was just that good, Lew thought with a smirk.

"Oh... no. I'm alright, thanks. I don't drink."

The reply was polite, but curt- a very loud full-stop at the end of the sentence that said 'he'd had this discussion before and no he really didn't drink'. At first Lew did think, 'oh God he IS a Mormon'. But the way Winters looked at him- hard and waiting to be challenged- intrigued Lew even more.

"Ah, that's no excuse," Lew said cheerfully, pushing his hands into his pockets and shrugging. "C'mon I could use someone sober to stop me from makin' a fool of myself in front of the ladies."

For a long moment Winters stared at him, like he was assessing an opponent (Lew had heard he wrestled in college). Lew drew his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up in the doorway.

Finally Winters closed his book, tucking the marker between the paged and setting it down on the mattress. Lew ignored the thrill that ran through him as Winters walked by him, shouldering on his jacket.

The bar was packed with civilians and soldiers and beautiful dames; Lew's dream. Winters, however, looked around with a crease in his brow as the noise of celebration washed over them like it was the exact opposite of the dream.

Determined, Lew tapped Winters shoulder and guided them through the crowd. He kept his hand on Winters back until they reached the bar, and he found himself flexing his fingers when he took it back.

Thankfully two stools sat free in the corner, which was the worst place to catch the barman's attention but much quieter. Winters looked like he might leave at any moment and Lew found himself decidedly against that idea. He wanted him to stay, to have a good time- if the man was even capable of such a thing.

"Can I get a whiskey and a glass of orange juice please," Lew called, leaning up on the counter to be heard. The barman nodded and Lew sat back, turning to Winters making his knees brush the side of the other man's thigh. The red headed man sat up straight, chest out and hands restless in front of him while Nix slouched, leaning his elbow on the counter. As their drinks were set in front of them, the two couldn't have appeared more diametrically opposed. Yet Lew felt an affinity with him, with the stubbornness Winters radiated. The man had more character to his silence than half the boys at Yale put together.

"So Richard where are you from?" Lew asked as Winters sipped at his drink.

"I'm from Lancaster. Pennsylvania. And please, call me Dick. Richard is my father."

"Long way from home, Dick," Lew replied, testing the name on his tongue and it tasted nicer than the whiskey in his glass. As he lifted it for a sip he added, "and you can call me Nix, only my mother called me Lewis. And that's when she's pissed."

Over the rim of his glass he caught the flicker of amusement over Dick's lips, and he couldn't help feeling a little victorious.

In that moment they because 'Dick' and 'Nix', and among the men at Fort Bennings- and further on in Toccoa- those names became synonymous.

-

It was another nightmare that woke him. It wasn't vivid, but Lew could still feel the heat of the flames licking up the plane. He could still feel the fear.

He woke gasping for breath, clutching the duvet to stop the world from falling away. There was a moment that came with these kind of dreams where, for a second or two, Lew wasn't sure if he was awake.

Sitting up, he grimaced as the sheets stuck to his sodden shirt. He looked around. It was his room- there was the wardrobe full of his uncomfortable suits, where his uniform was tucked away at the bottom beneath his spare shoes; a poorly buried memory. Beside that, a chest of drawers with his other clothes- underwear, undershirts and casual trousers which hid several bottles he had tucked away. Another part of him buried but not forgotten. Across the room the thick, floor to ceiling curtains blocked out all signs of life from the latch windows. They stayed closed more often than not.

There was no noise throughout the house as Lew slipped out of bed and went to the drawers. Inside the second draw he shifted the folded pants aside, fingers curling around the familiar smooth glass.

He poured himself a generous serving and swallowed it in two gulps, then filled it to the brim again. He licked a stray drop off his thumb, ignoring the way his hands trembled.

Nudging the curtain open a crack he found the sky a deep blue, devoid of clouds. Mist hung over the Nixon estate, dotted with oak trees that looked hauntingly like silhouettes in the dim light of dawn. It reminded him of everyone and no one.

Impulse swept him across the room and down the staircases, swift but quiet. In the hall he paused at the telephone, fingers rubbing over the devices cold surface. With a deep breath he picked up the receiver and dialed the number he'd memorised weeks ago. Clutching his half full glass to his breast, he leaned against the wall and waited.

"Hello?"

"Dick?"

"L-Lew? Is that you? It's four in the morning."

Even thick with sleep, Dick's croaking voice was enough to calm the tremor in his hands. He didn't sound angry- Dick never got angry with him, not really- he sounded surprised and Lew couldn't blame him. He hadn't called or replied to a letter in a long while.

"I know... Where you asleep?" Lew murmured, trying not to picture Dick waking up with mussed hair in a soft bed. Even in the middle of war torn Europe he seemed to wake up with combed hair.

Dick didn't reply for a moment, the line crackling softly.

"No."

Lew could tell he was being truthful, though it saddened him to know. His palm were sweaty and he gripped the receiver more tightly.

"I-I still have dreams, y'know. I had them when we were there but now we're back I thought they'd..." Lew found the words stuck in his throat and took a gulp of whiskey in hopes of swallowing them down. Dick didn't say anything and Lew could picture his patient face perfectly, freckled and marked red from the creases of his pillow.

He bit his lip, smiling to himself. He had an image of every version of Dick in his mind, perfectly captured and preserved- tired, sad, angry, happy, laughing. It was more enjoyable to flip through than his family albums. But it wasn't the real thing, he thought and his smile faded. He wanted more than anything to have Dick there right now so he could hug him tightly and wait for the nightmares to fade. He wanted Dick to hug him back and kiss away the pain like he used to so well. 

"I miss y-"

"Lewis?"

He almost jumped in the air, glass falling to the floor and sending the dregs of alcohol smattering his ankles.

"Shit, dammit Blanche!" Lew hissed. His sister glared at him disapproving, and even in a dressing gown and curlers she managed to look menacing.

"Lew?" Dick's voice appeared in his ear and Lew fumbled with the receiver.

"Sorry, it's my sister... I'd better go. I'm sorry for calling so late," Lew explained, turning his back to Blanche slightly as if it gave him some privacy.

"Are you sure?" Dick asked skeptically.

"Yeah, I'm fine, really. Go back to bed," Lew replied, trying to keep his tone light.

"Okay." Dick paused, "hey, Lew?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you too."

Lew couldn't helping smiling broadly as he listened to Dick hang up and the dial tone buzz in his ear. Carefully, he replaced the receiver on its hook and turned to Blanche. She was still glaring at him but her dark eyebrows were quirked, as were he lips in a bemused sort of smile.

"What?" Lew huffed impatiently, pushing his fringe out of his face.

"Was that a girl?" Blanche asked, her tone teasing. He padded over and bent down to pick up the glass. It took a moment for Lew's brain to catch up and realise she thought he had a girlfriend.

"What girl would I be calling at four in the morning?" Lew asked irritably.

Blanche straightened, and pushed the glass into Lew's hand. She grinned wickedly, "if she can make you smile like that? A special one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these two a great deal, and I just want to see them happy.... more to come!


	2. and When We're Laughing

"Lew?"

He tried to pull himself from his stupour, swaying upright in the chair to try and see the source of the voice. Everything was bleary. Faintly he felt his grip slip and there was a dull thump as the glass hit the carpeted floor. He half fell from the seat trying to pick it up, but a hand on his chest steadied him.

"Lew, how much have you had?" Dick asked calmly, voice like bubbles in water. Dick took Lew's chin and forced him to look into his eyes. Absently Lew thought Dick could have made a very good doctor in a different life because he was always so level-headed. Lew was never level-headed. He blinked slowly, trying to find his balance as Dick lifted him to his feet. Instead he almost fell on the floor beside his glass, catching himself with one hand on the table and the other around Dick's shoulder. 

Dick adjusted his stance and shifted Lew's weight onto him, wrapping an arm around his waist. A palm settled over his hip and Lew felt warmer. Dick was always warm, he radiated it like the sun and drew Lew in. He didn't realise just how much he was leaning in until his the tip of his nose brush Dick's cheek and the man drew away.

"That's not a good idea, Nix, you're way too drunk and the boys are playing cards," Dick murmured. "C'mon lets get you to bed." He pried Lew's hand off his belt- Lew hadn't even noticed grabbing it- and guided Lew around the table toward the doorway. 

Lew frowned sadly, but of course Dick doesn't like him in this state. Who would? His wife certainly didn't. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded to himself, resting his head against Dick's shoulder as they climbed the stairs awkwardly. His eyes kept falling closed and Dick had to shake him before they teetered over. 

He kept a hold on Dick's sleeve for balance as they moved through the grand old house. He knew it was selfish, after everything they saw today, to be drinking like it somehow had anything to do with him. But the accumulation of the jump, his demotion, the letter from Katherine and then this... It all built up a tar like substance in his gut he needed to loosen with booze. 

Of course Dick was fine, or pretending to be because that's what he did. He kept his feelings so neatly hidden, Lew admired it and hated it. Most days he was unreadable and Lew wished he could see through the facade as easily as Dick saw through him. 

The room was cold and dark, and Lew wanted to be closer to Dick to absorb some of that sunlight. Instead he let himself be manhandled over to the bed and sat on the mattress like a child. The door closed quietly and then light from the beside lamp flooded the room hazily, casting soft shadows. Fingers combed through his hair gently, tilting his head back. Lew let his eyelids flutter closed and felt, to his shame, a tear slip down his cheek.

"You're okay, Lew," Dick murmured and he pressed his lips to Lew's so softly it felt imagined. Dick's kisses always made Lew's brain short out and for a moment he forgot to breath. He swayed a little when Dick pulled away to kneel in front of him. His shoes were tugged from his feet and he easily fell back into the mattress under gentle hands. As soon as he head hit the pillow, exhaustion washed over him and his eyes closed once more. But he still felt cold.

"Dick?" Lew slurred, reaching out blindly. He found Dick's hand and clutched it, tugging weakly. He forced his eyes open to see Dick watching him with that familiar questioning look in his eyes. "Please stay."

"I can't, Le-"

"Please, just... let's pretend we're not here. It's just you and me," Lew pleaded. They had never spent a night together, not once, but tonight Lew needed him there- and he was fairly certain Dick needed him too.

To his relief, Dick sighed and came back to the edge of the bed. Lew shifted over so he could lay down. The man had barely settled against the pillow before Lew crawled back over to curl against his chest, clutching at his shirt. He squeezed his eyes closed and pressed his face into Dick's breast, breathing him in. It was grounding and stopped the spinning in his head. The lump in his throat dissolved as Dick wrapped his arm around Lew protectively. Even full of booze and sorrow, in Dick's arms Lew couldn't help feeling safe in a war torn world.

Dick shifted down, pressing his lips against Lew's head. 

"I love you," Lew heard Dick murmured into his hairline, fingers stroking the short hair at the base of his neck. Lew smiled, tightening his grip in Dick's shirt.

"I love you too."

-

Lew could see Dick through the window of the Officer's Club as he smoked. Everyone was dressed up in their distinctive officer uniforms, but Dick looked amazing- his ironed to perfection, and not a hair out of place. Summer had hardly begun but the freckles on Dick's face had tripled in two months of cloudless sunshine. They had appeared on his neck and the bow of his lip -scattered across the back of his neck, lost beneath his collar. 

Lew had zoned out from the conversation next to him, instead watching Dick chuckle politely at something Major Harrison had said. Just then Dick glanced out of the window and caught Lew's eye before he could turn away. But Dick just smiled like he hadn't caught him staring, and Lew had to take his cigarette from his lips before he choked. 

There was an odd hollow feeling that accompanied his pride at graduating, all because he knew he wouldn't see the man beyond the glass for a while. He would leave for Fort Ord in California at 0800 tomorrow. Many of the other graduates were headed into combat in just a few days, a much more frightening prospect than Lew's. But tonight everyone was cheerful and drinking like across the ocean the world wasn't ending.

As the other men dropped their cigarette butts and headed inside Dick passed them in the doorway, nodding as he did. Lew took a long drag as Dick came to his side, hands in his pockets. 

"Major Harrison has had far too much to drink," Dick said as he kicked the pebbles under his shiny boots. 

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhmm. He just told me exactly- exactly- how he feels about Major Trent. Wasn't pretty."

Lew chuckled, more at the mischievous smile on Dick's face than what he had said. The man was a sucker for gossip, Lew had discovered, even though he did nothing with the information. He just seemed to hoard it. 

"That's sounds like quite the conversation, woulda liked to be a fly on that wall."

"I'll tell you more over breakfast, we should go inside," Dick said, stepping toward the warmly lit entrance. But Lew didn't move and Dick paused in the corridor of light, looking over his shoulder expectantly. Lew wished he could take a picture of him: Dick Winters cast in the soft glow in a felicitous garb, with his eyes entirely taken upon Lew. But he had to ruin the moment, it was what he did best.

"I'm being assigned," he said quickly. The pebbled scrapped as Dick turned back to him fully, a curious crease in his brows.

"Oh. Where- When?"

"For Ord," Lew rubbed his thumb over his eyebrow, avoiding Dick's eye. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Oh eight hundred."

When he looked up Dick had that bland expression on his face, the one he used when a Lieutenant was being irritating. That wasn't a good sign.

"And you're telling me now," Dick finally said, voice equally devoid of emotion. Fingers shaking a little, Lew light another cigarette and inhaled deeply. 

"I only found out yesterday afternoon."

"We were together at lunch and dinner, Lew. Heck, we sleep next to each other. You couldn't find some time in there to talk to me? Why wouldn't you just tell me?" Dick asked. Lew could hardly hear the words beneath the tone that wracked him with guilt- hard and disappointed, all because of Lew. He couldn't stand Dick this way, especially when that chill was directed at him. 

"Can we..." Lew gestured vaguely away from the building. "Just, walk with me."

The Officer's Club was surrounded by a woodland of thin Birch trees that made up a horse-shoe of forestry, quickly cut off to become a long rolling field of grass where officer's could play gold or shoot clay pigeons. 

Lew burned away his cigarette with deep, nervous inhales as they walked up the driveway- gravel crunching under their boots the only solace to the awkward silence. Dick stared into the sky, hands still in his pockets but a softer expression on his face. He never stayed irritated with Lew for long.

His heart was beating rapidly, hell he could heart it reverberating through his goddamn skull. He might as well have been eating the cigarette for all the good it was doing, so he flicked it off to one side. Dick had asked the exact question he had been avoiding for the past twenty four hours: why didn't he just tell Dick? Finding his flask in his pocket he took a swing and then a deep breath, mustering the courage he needed.

"Dick I... You're my best friend, Dick."

"You're mine too, Nix," Dick replied softly. It threw him for a moment, lost in the softness of Dick's smile. He could feel himself blushing already. 

"Truth is I've never had one before, I've never really been close to anyone. Even my own family," he fumbled with the cap of his flask. "But you understand me.... so clearly it's, ha, a little scary."

They reached the gates of the drive, the small back road beyond dark and uninviting. Lew stopped at the wall and sort out another cigarette desperately, needing something to steady his hands. Dick leaned against the wall in front of him, waiting expectantly for Lew to continue. The sun had almost gone, descended below the treetops but hovering above the horizon. Dick looked pale in the dim light. 

"You, um," Lew exhaled shakily, watching the smoke ascend. "You see through the shit, all of it, all of my shit. And I- I think- I see you too. So when I didn't tell you, I was... I avoided it because when I would say goodbye you'd see-" his voice caught, and he glared at the grass angrily- regret and fear churned within him. "-You'd see how I feel, I wouldn't be able to pretend anymore and that hurts too damn much, Dick."

He closed his eyes hard, cringing. It had come out a mess, all wrong. He'd completely fucked it up and Dick was going to hate him. 

And yet, there was silence. Suddenly fingers curled around Lew's wrist and the cigarette fell from his fingers as they moved down to wrap around his palm. Lew felt his pulse jump and he looked up at Dick, calm and assessing as ever. 

"I never want to hurt you," Dick said quietly, hand curling around Lew's more firmly and pulling him closer. 

Lew realised he wasn't breathing as Dick leaned in and, just as their lips met, he took a shuddering breath. Head spinning with adrenaline and whiskey, Lew gripped Dick's lapel for something to anchor him. Dick pulled away an inch, eye's half closed and completely beautiful. His eyelashes were a shade paler than the hair on his head, Lew realised and if could concentrate he'd be able to count them. 

"You don't hurt me, Dick. Never you," Lew whispered before surging forward and pressing their lips together hard. He heard Dick's gasp as they staggered, and collapsed against the wall. Lew made a desperate noise and licked at Dick's lips, begging for more, and Dick gave in easily. The wet slide of their tongues made Lew shudder and he felt Dick wrap his arms around Lew's waist, turning them until his back was to the wall. There Dick pressed him into the shadows, kissing Lew deeply and slowly. Lew felt possessed by it, taken off guard by Dick taking the lead so naturally.

"I was never," Lew panted against Dick's lips, hand in his soft hair- delighted to be messing it up for once. "I was never sure."

Dick sighed- as close to a groan someone as put together as Dick could get- and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"It's always been you, Lew," Dick replied, voice solemn. With a rush of exhilaration Lew kissed him, hooking his arm around Dick's neck to deepen the kiss. He thought of all the time he'd wanted to do this before and never had, too afraid to face the pain of rejection, of hatred. Here and now though, with these lips on his, the fear and hesitation felt worth it because it lead to this. 

His body felt lit up, nerves he thought had died or he'd killed with booze sparking to life wherever Dick's hands traveled on his body. Every time he gasped it spurred Dick on, kissing with more fervor and touching with more confidence. 

Then the moment was shattered, brought back to reality by the roar of an engine on the road and headlights turning up the drive. Dick flinched, pulling away from Lew's bruised lips. Lew grabbed Dick and pulled him against his chest, forcing them against the wall. 

The car was full of fellow offices, drunkenly singing together as they rumbled up the drive. They'd seen nothing; too drunk and too dark. It had barely lasted a second and the vehicle drove on, unbeknownst of the two men embracing in the shadow. 

Once the rear lights blinked out at the curve of the road, they were cast into darkness again. Only the sound of their noisy breath surrounded them. Lew could feel Dick's hands gripping his jacket tightly, he could feel his heart beating wildly against his collarbone. Slowly, he felt Dick's tension ease and his body shift away from Lew's minutely. Then Lew laughed, a little delirious. Dick's hand flattened against his spine, smoothing over the rumpled material as he began to chuckle too. Lew pressed his forehead against Dick's neck to muffle his laughter and hid the tears in his eyes. 

-

The snow was falling thick and fast, piling up on Lew's shoulders as he trudged through the woods. Silence rang, cut through by the soft murmur of men or noise from the enemy line. Lew peered at the watch- he still had time.

He paused at the open foxhole where Doc Roe was curled, dozing. His whole face was pink, but especially his nose that practically glowed in the door.

"Doc... Hey Doc," Lew hissed, and the small man jerked to life like he'd be stung.

"Oh, sir, everythin' okay?" Roe croaked when his eyes finally focused on Lew. The boy looked twice as tired as Lew felt.

"Kid, go find a foxhole to share. Babe and Spina are around here somewhere sock in with them," Lew said, tone firm because this kid was as stubborn as they came. "Can't have our best medic freezing to death. Winters'll kill me."

Roe stared for a second before nodding and scrabbling out of the whole, running in a half crouch back the way Lew came. He watched for a moment and then listened to the crunch of snow until that faded too. He felt a little better having done that and stood, ignoring his cracking knees, and went on his way.

The sky was fairly clear tonight even as snow fell, and Lew could see the stares when he looked up. Or were they planes? He had no idea these days.

Finally he found the hole he was looking for and lifted the snow covered tarp. Stale air hit his nose as he slide inside, quickly covering the hole he'd made. On the opposite side of the hole Dick sat with his knees in his chest, glaring at Lew.

"I've been working hard to conserve this warmth, y'know."

"Yeah well, you're pretty much generating your own source with the amount you're shivering," Lew retorted fondly. He was right though- Dick was shivering as always, eyes sunken and sad. It was hard to see. Lew shook off the snow and shimmed over, until they were pressed shoulder to boot. Even though Lew was probably cold to the touch, Dick leaned into him and slung the blanket over his knees. Gratefully, Lew pulled it up to his chin.

They shivered together, too cold and tired to talk, until Lew remember why he'd been in a hurry to get here.

"Oh, hey," he rustled his hands out from beneath the blanket and cupped the watch trying to see the time. "Happy New Years, Dick."

Dick chuckled, though it just sounded like a shuddering breath through chatting teeth. Lew looked at him until Dick realised he was waiting for the reply. He smiled at Lew fondly, shaking his head.

"Happy New Year, Lew," he sighed. Lew smiled and leaned in, their helmets knocked as Lew kissed Dick's cheek. He lingers there, his breath warming the frozen skin. Dick hummed, pressing even closer. Lew pressed another, more lingering kiss to the chilly, pink skin.

"Lew," Dick breathed and Lew hummed in response, punctuating it with yet another kiss to Dick's jaw. In the dark, under layers upon layers, 'fumbling' was given a whole new meaning. Nevertheless Lew fumbled with determination until his cold palm found the skin on Dick's stomach. The man inhaled sharply and Lew muttered an apology, running his hand back and forth to get rid of some of the chill.

"I don't think-"

"Please let me," Lew muttered against his jaw. "I've watched you walk around here like a ghost for days, Dick, let me do something."

Dick shudders as Lew sat up a little more to push his hand past his waistband. He gripped Dick through his boxers, flexing his hand gently and listening to Dick groan. Then Dick tilted his head and captured Lew's frozen lips, opening his searingly warm mouth to Lew. They kissed messily, relishing in the heat they were creating better them. Lew remembered his hand and rubbed over Dick's hard length, feeling him tremble.

"Lew," Dick said again but this time it was pleading. Lew nodded and kept kissing him, and he pressed his palm down for Dick to rock against. They found a rhythm of some kind, Dick making low desperate breaths as he pushed against Lew's tight stroke. Lew half knelt, half lay over Dick for a better angle- his helmet falling off as he dove in to kiss Dick's cheek.

"Wait, what about you?" Dick gasped, pausing.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just want you to-" Lew huffed. He was painfully hard, but he need to see Dick feel good. With a deep breath Dick's movements became short and frantic and Lew pressed closer, gripping him hard. "I just want you," he said again and Dick gasp, grabbing Lew's shoulder as he shuddered.

"Oh... We haven't done something like that since Taccoa," Dick mumbled with his eyes closed. Lew braced his knees and wiped up as much of the come on Dick's skin as he possible could before it get freezing. He looked at his sticky palm and then wiped it on the blanket. Dick made an anguished face and Lew chuckled.

"Happy New Year," he repeated, kissing Dick's swollen lips before shuffling to sit beside Dick again and pull the blanket over them. "Trust me, if we had a little more privacy I'd have done a lot more."

Dick's gaze dropped to Lew's pants, eyeing the bulge, "tell me."

"What?" Lew sputtered.

"Or show me. Lew I want you to feel good to, you know, " Dick said quietly, hands shifting beneath the blanket and taking Lew's belt. When Dick unbuckled his belt, Lew let his still warm palm slip into the front of his pants. He exhaled noisily as he took himself in his hand still wet with Dick's come. Dick's hand stayed on his inner thigh, holding his legs open. He pressed against Lew's side, forehead against his temple and gaze cast down to watch Lew stroke himself.

"You're the only thing-" Lew gasped quietly as Dick's fingers dug into his thigh. "-Jesus, You're the only thing that makes me feel good."

It was Dick's turn to hum approvingly and Lew turned his had, pressing their foreheads together as the heat curled in his gut as his movements became desperate. As he felt the tension reach, he opened his eyes and found Dick's already looking at him and that was all it took. He came into his fist, groaning loudly and making Dick kiss him to stifle the noise.

He sat boneless, breathing against Dick's cheek, until the stickiness became uncomfortable. He kissed Dick slowly to cut through the nastiness of using his hand of wipe away the excess that he could onto his trouser leg.

"Happy New Year," Dick said and Lew huffed.

"Alright I think we've done that one to death," he replied softly, picking up his helmet and securing it on his head again. Dick moved them until Lew was half laid on his chest, head on his shoulder. "Maybe next year we'll have time. We won't be..." he trailed off, realising the thought was much too solemn.

"I know," Dick whispered, squeezing his hand under the blanket. Lew felt drained, but he waited until he felt Dick fall asleep next to him- counting it as a win- before letting his eyes fall closed too. When he finally drifted off he dreamed of somewhere warm, and of freckled skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little smutty this chapter...
> 
> kudos and comment appreciated, especially for this tiny fandom I love.


	3. Have You By My Side

The wedding was a small church affair, filled with Harry and Kitty's close family and friends. And of course, most of the 506th too. When Lew arrived more than half the attendees were in uniform and he recognised most of them before he even got in the driveway.

Carwood Lipton and Ron Speirs were stood near the cars, talking quietly. Speirs looked impeccable- he had the same knack as Dick for wearing a uniform well- and Lew was sure half the bridesmaids already had their eyes on him. Lipton looked as bashful as even, with his hands in his pockets and a grin on his face. He looked more tanned, the scar on his cheek half-faded.

Buck Compton stood by the church doors, chatting with a petite blonde woman who was giggling at whatever he was saying. Her dress was lilac so she was one of the bridesmaids, and Lew shook his head in rye admiration. They hadn't gotten on well, but Lew was glad to see him back on his feet- Compton's albino features were warmer and less stricken than the last time he saw him in Austria.

Toye, Luz and Liebgott were gathered with cigarettes in hand among the crowd of civilian family members- as were many other men from Easy. It felt like more of a reunion than a wedding, Lew thought as he stepped out of his car and was met by heckles from old friends. Speirs shook his hand with a cool smile, which to Lew was surprisingly friendly. Lip ducked his head and called him 'sir' then 'Nixon' as he shook his hand too and Lew couldn't help laughing.

"We're not in the airborne anymore, Lip, call me Nix."

It felt good to be out of the house, to get out of the goddamn state. His muscles seemed to get less tense, the further he drove away from his father's house.

He shot the breeze with the men, trying to hid his constantly wandering gaze; checking the crowd for the best man. Eventually they all piled into the church, more than two thirds of the pews dress in brown. Lew squeezed in between Martin and Lip just as the music began to swell. When a hush fell over everyone, Lew finally caught sight of groom and best man at the head of the church and his heart picked up speed. Harry and Dick stood shoulder to shoulder, Harry fiddling with his tie and murmuring to Dick. 

Harry looked virtually the same, if a little more pale and jittery. His wild curls were slicked back with some powerful grease and Lew was sure the boys were going to mock his endless at the reception. For some reason (perhaps self-preservation or pride) he tried to resist looking at Dick; pretending he wasn't desperate to get a look at the man he hadn't seen in nine months.

When Lew finally did he sighed so loudly Martin gave him a judging look.

Dick's hair was a little longer, more full at the front and swept back neatly. He was dressed in uniform too, but with a Lilac stem pinned to his lapel. Dick gazed around the church, at the ceiling and the stain glass windows. As he looked over the crowd his eyes landed on Lew and the gentle smile on his face spread wider, sending a fresh wave of relief through him. Lew grinned back and mouthed 'hello', and as Dick did the same the doors opened and everybody stood.

It was a beautiful ceremony, Lew sincerely believed that. He'd been to hundreds of weddings of his father's friends or colleagues. Most of them were stuffy, pompous affairs but this was the first wedding Lew had to try hard not to shed a tear at. Harry croaked his vows, and the whole church 'awed' when they sealed the vows with a kiss. Even Martin looked a little damp around the eyes when they stood again, to applaud the newlyweds down the aisle.

Lew gave Speirs and Lip a lift to the reception, following the procession of cars behind the white Bentley. Speirs bummed a cigarette and smoked out the window while Lip chatted to Lew about being back home. Every so often, when Lip gushed about his sister at college or his nephew, Lew caught Ron smiling as he puffed on the cigarette in the backseat. The man had the smile of a shark, but this one was unnervingly sweet.

The reception was being held in a fancy looking hall, tucked away in the rolling hills of the local countryside. Inside, while everyone ooed and aahed at the interior, Lew sort out the bar and ordered a whiskey. It was hidden just outside the hall and when Lew passed through the doors into it, even he muttered a 'wow'. 

The main hall was beautiful- decorated with floral bunting and a chandelier. Soft lilac drapes hung from the walls and around the windows. The chaotic hubbub of noise echoed from the walls as everyone filtered inside. Lew tried to avoid the masses, inspecting the table for his name tag as he sipped his drink. He couldn't find it on the first three tables, and as he was checking the fourth someone called his name.

"Nix! Over here!" Harry yelled, waving from the wedding-family table at the head of the hall. Lew waved back and navigated his way through the chairs. When he reached the table he leaned over it and hugged Harry tightly.

"Congrats, Harry," he said cheerfully, then kissed the bride's hand, "and you too Kitty." The beautiful slip of a woman grinned at him in such an un-apologetically smug way, Lew knew instantly they were a perfect match.

"Thanks Nix. Look, we put you with Dick at the end of the row," Harry explained, pointing to his left. Lew gaped in surprised, eyeing the two empty seats. "Most of the bridal part are family so I thought he could use the company. Plus these bridesmaids are man-eaters. You might be better equipped to fend them off." Kitty elbowed him, shaking her head fondly.

"Right, of course, I'll go... sit- uh, congratulations. Again," Lew stammered, raising his glass as he left. He took his seat and watched the hall slowly fill with stranger and soldiers alike- Buck arm in arm with the same blonde bridesmaid. Leigbott watching Webster talk to a pretty brunette in a blue dress. Toye jabbing his crutch under Luz's legs as he passed making him stumble and almost spill his glass of champagne.

"Quite a sight, huh?"

Dick stood just behind Lew, hands in his pockets and a wistful smile on his face. Lew sprang up from his seat, almost knocking his chair over. He realised how foolish that must have looked, but Dick was smiling at him. Smiling so damn warmly. As Dick sat, Lew did too. He couldn't take his eyes off of Dick's face. He counted the new freckles and the new creases- Dick's eyes seemed tired, but they still shone with that light that made Lew feel alive, more alive than he had in months.

"Seeing all the men together again. It feels strange. Good, but strange," Dick said as he tucked his chair closer to the table. He turned to Lew with another bright smile. "It's especially good to see you."

"You too. Look I'm sorry I didn't call you again when I... I should've called," Lew replied in a rush. He tapped his glass nervously and almost knocked it over when Dick's fingers brushed his thigh.

"It's okay, Lew. It'd have been nice to hear from you though. Just to know you're okay," Dick picked at the hem of the table cloth. "You are okay aren't you?"

Lew felt his jaw twitch, a second away from blurting 'yes'. But the look on Dick's face was so serious, eyes boring into Lew and stripping his defenses made it impossible to lie. Once again Lew found himself unable to breath, unable to find a coherent answer.

He was saved by the gentle tap of metal on glass as the best man's speech was announced and Lew sighed in relief. Dick looked startled but stood, stifling his smile as the men whooped and cheered. 

Dick's voice faded beneath Lew's thundering heartbeat as he tried to focus on his hands, on the pattern on the table cloth, on anything at all. But it was futile. His heart kept hammering against his ribs and a cold sweat started to bead at the base of his neck and brow. Everything seemed to be closing in; the walls, the air. All the night terrors came rushing into the daylight and Lew dug his nails into his thigh, focusing on the pain. He kept his face neutral, though he knew he must look sweaty and ill. 

When the speech was done- there was applause and some tearful faces- Dick took his seat again. He was smiling shyly and blushing but when he looked at Lew his eyes went wide (he must look worse that he thought). 

"Nix? Lew? Look at me, you alright?" Dick muttered urgently, but there was no panic on his face just a knowing look. He pried Lew's hand off his thigh and took it, squeezing tightly. "You're okay, you're at Harry's wedding. I'm here. We're both fine. Breath with me."

"I can't," Lew croaked.

"Yes you can," Dick said firmly, breathing deliberately, and somehow Lew did. He inhaled with Dick, watching his mouth, and exhaling slowly. The world faded away and it was just them, breathing together, connected by their entwined fingers until Lew realised his heart rate was steady again. 

"Thank you," Lew whispered, letting go of Dick's hand and picking up his glass, suddenly very thirsty. Dick shifted in his chair and they sat quietly for a while, watching the people chat and drink joyfully. The whiskey suddenly tasted stale and unappealing now, but Lew gulped it down just for an excuse to get up. 

"I'm just going to, um," he stammered, tapping his glass as he pushed his chair back. He hurried away-feeling Dick's eyes follow him- to the bar where he ordered a double of the same. Leaning heavily against the counter for fear his quacking legs might give out. 

The ice clinked against his teeth as he chucked the fresh drink back hard. Music erupted from the hall, muffled by the doors, a swinging quartet of noise to waltz to. He imagined Buck pulling the bridesmaid onto her feet and twirling her onto the dance floor, pressing their bodies close and whispering something sweet in her ear. He wondered, for a stolen second, if Dick would let him lead if he were to do the same. But he realised he would prefer if Dick led anyway.

As if summoned, Dick came strolling through the doors, looking around until he saw Lew at the bar with his fourth drink in hand. He came over, perching himself on the stool beside Lew and ordering a glass of orange juice. Lew steeled his gaze in the opposite direction, to the window at the end of the corridor where some guests milled about smoking. They were probably Kitty's relatives, judging by the cigars and cravats. Harry had told him in a letter that they were well-off and not too pleased with Harry (although they liked he was a veteran, and appreciated the silk he brought back as a gift for Kitty). 

"I get them too."

Lew swallowed hard, too frightened to reply.

"Sometimes at night, they wake me up and I can't get back to sleep. I go jogging, or I work on the car, or write letters... Point is it's nothing to be... embarrassed about, most of the men get it too. Those lucky enough not to? They understand. You just," Dick sighed. "You've gotta talk about it, Nix."

Lew set his glass down hard, the ice clinking, "I don't 'gotta' do anything, Dick." As Lew lifted his hand to call the barman, Dick caught his wrist.

"Don't. Come with me."

It was a command, and Lew was too stunned to stop himself being swept up behind Dick who's hand lingered on his wrist as he brushed by. He hadn't been touched like that in so long it was a shock to Lew's system- the kind of casual intimacy no else got right. He had know from the first moment he and Dick kissed, he would be ruined for anyone else but this was the first time he had felt it.

Dick lead them out the back of the hall, through French windows into an elegant garden secluded by tall hedges. A stone slab path broke the flower beds into four organised sections. The flowers were probably coordinated in some way, but to Lew's untrained eye it was just a wild array of colours and shapes. To their left was a small garden bench and Dick took them to it.

The music was almost muted out here, drowned in the weaving corridors of the grand house. It was just them and the leaves rustled by the warm breeze. Dick sat beside him and crossed his ankles, gripping the lip of the bench. Lew suddenly felt very unsure of what to do with his own, so he took out his smokes.

"Have you seen Ron?"

"I gave him and Lip a lift here. He didn't say much. Never does," Lew answered dryly, shrugging. He tucked a cigarette in his mouth and flipped his lighter open.

"He's been having some trouble... adjusting. Or that's what Car tells me," Dick continued. Lew lit the cigarette, mulling the information over. Speirs was always such a cold, unemotional man over there. He followed orders, mind entirely focused on the mission at hand. It didn't come as a surprise that a man like that would find the real world troubling, somewhere where he wouldn't have orders to follow. Then it occurs to Lew:

"Lip told you?"

"Yes, Nix."

Oh. I didn't, I..." Lew sucked on the filter hard, trying to process what Dick was insinuating.

"They moved in together a few months back. No one really questions it, two men who severed together sharing a house. People think we've earned the right to be a little... peculiar," Dick explained in a hushed voice, his shoulder touching Lew's.

"What are you saying?" Lew sighed. He stood, rubbing his temple hard; he was getting a headache. 

"Move to Lancaster. Come and live with me. I've bought a farm with some land. We can figure things out as we go. Maybe visit Chicago," Dick looked up at him, eyes bright and full of determination. Lew fumbled with the cigarette in his hand, mind racing. It was a offer he could hardly refuse. Escape from his past, escape to the countryside. He would be free of his family's prying eyes, their disappointment and judgment. He could be with Dick exactly the way he wanted to, the way he had imagined on cold tear-stained nights int the war.

Dick stood and stepped in front of Lew, toe-to-toe. He glanced over his shoulder before taking Lew's hand, running his thumb over his knuckles. Lew couldn't help looking up and meet Dick's eyes. They shone with hope.

"Lew say something."

Lew would pray when he was young. He would pray to see the beautiful skyline of Paris again or the rivers of Amsterdam- it was a longing to be anywhere but where he was. Now all he wanted was to keep those blue eyes in his life, he would trade it all to be with Dick Winters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what will Lew choose....


	4. (Epilogue) It's You I Long For

Fuck Currahee. Fuck Sobel. Fuck.

Lew repeated the words in his head over and over as he jogged up the dirt path. His shirt stuck to his back and his fringe to his forehead. The sun had hardly risen but the head was already thick in the air and Lew could hardly breath. But he wouldn't stop, couldn't stop. Of course he was fit after months in the Officer's Candidate Course, but still his calves burned like acid. 

"Hi ho silver!" Came a breathless voice from behind him and Lew couldn't help laughing in delight as he recognised it.

"Fuck you!" He called back, turning and jogging backward to watching Dick pound up the slope toward him. There was a grin on Dick's face as he caught up, rosy cheeked and full of energy. Lew hated it.

"Tryna beat my time?" Dick asked.

Lew laughed bitterly, "not even a little."

They stormed up the hill together, Lew could tell Dick was holding back to stay by his side and he couldn't decided if he was offended or appreciative. They'd been in Toccoa for three months, under the strict rule of Strayer and Sobel. Even Dick was feeling the pressure as men fell to the wayside day by day- coming straight from civilian life into the army PT schedule took its toll. There were more failures than success stories so far. Still there were men like Toye, Talbert and Lip who stood out against the rest- they just needed more men like that and the 506th would take the Krauts in no time. 

Of course Sobel took every failure out on them with double-times and twice as many inspections. Lew had taken to jogging Currahee almost every morning- if he wasn't too hung over- just in spite of that chickenshit and to make sure he showed no weaknesses.

"C'mon old man," Dick said, breaking ahead as they reached the final steep. Lew huffed indignantly, knowing Dick was just trying to coax him. He fell for it every time. Mustering one final burst of strength, he managed to slap his palm on the touchstone at the same time as Dick. Admittedly Lew had tried to shove the man out of the way- he never liked playing fair- but Dick had a few pounds and inches on his and didn't budge.

"Stick to cards, Nix," Dick panted, hands braced on his knees.

"Stick to having no sense of humour, Dick," Lew retorted, collapsing against the stone. He wiped his forehead and realised Dick was watching him with a half smile. Their smiles grew until they were both laughing. Alone on the peak their laughter seemed far louder and Lew wondered if the slumbering camp could hear them, though he didn't really care.

Lew stood and went to Dick's side at the crest of the steep to see the view and the sunrise beyond. It was truly magnificent, a whorl of pink and orange in the blue sky. Taccoa seemed to be this place where time stood still, separate from the real world. It was a place Lew could tell he would come to recall with fondness and with dread. A place where he had made the greatest of friends on the cusp of the war to end all wars where he may lose all of them.

He almost flinched when Dick touched his hand, but then he remembered they were alone for once. He smiled and entwined their fingers, their sweaty palms sliding together.

"It's beautiful isn't it," Dick sighed. Lew glanced at him, taking in his rosy cheeks and his freckles and his ridiculous crooked lips.

"Yeah. It is."

Dick noticed him staring and smiled playfully. He let go of Lew's hand, taking the hem of his shirt instead, and pulling him close to press their lips together. Lew sighed into his mouth, tilting his had to deepen the kiss. They hardly got time alone together, not like this. Not for this.

He realised his hands hung uselessly by his side and quickly lifted them to Dick's hips. He pushed his fingers below the hem of the infuriatingly small sort, running his fingers across the warm skin below Dick's navel. There was a low chuckle against his mouth as Lew toyed with the strings until hands settle over his.

"We can't."

"Can't we?" Lew murmured, pressing his lips to the curve of Dick's jaw.

The man didn't move away as he whispered, "no." As Lew kissed his throat, Dick tilted his neck- inviting more than deterring.

"If you say so," Lew murmured into his damp skin. He curled his fingers around the laces and untied the waistband. Dick's breath stuttered as the shorts fell away, and Lew wrapped his hot palm around his half-hard cock. It was a strange moment- Dick gasping against Lew's mouth as he stroked him, surrounded by the idyllic view, all alone but for the hundreds of sleeping soldiers at the foot of the mountain. 

It was always mesmerising to see Dick with no control, no way to keep his face from going slack and eyelid fluttering closed. Lew could never decided if he wanted to watch or kiss Dick in those moments. Dick's grip on his bicep tightened and he brought their mouths together again, nipping at Lew's bottom lip. As Lew tightened his grip too, twisting a little. Dick moaned and dropped his head against Lew's shoulder, fingers flexing against his bicep. 

"That's it, c'mon," Lew panted. Dick's hips canted up, thrusting into Lew's hand, and with a barely audible whimper he came into Lew's palm. 

Most of their relationship- to the outsiders eye- was the drunken, snobbish Lewis Nixon leaning on the uptight, teetotaler Richard Winters. Yet there they stood, holding one and other breathlessly in equal measure.

Dick pressed his sweaty forehead to Lew's, eyes closed in blissfulness. Lew could count his pale lashes from here. Dick grinned toothily with a fresh blush casting his cheeks.

"Currahee," he muttered breathlessly.

Lew laughed, heart glowing.

-

Groggy and cotton-brained, Lew sat up in bed trying to remember how he got there. Sometimes, when he slept without dreaming, he'd wake up thinking he was in different places. Different times. A foxhole, his dormitory at Yale, Toccoa. 

The sun was low in the sky, casting a cold pale light through the window that made Lew shudder and drag the duvet over his head. They'd hardly moved in- boxes were still stacked near the door and his wardrobe sat open with coat-hangers waiting to be used- but it still felt more like home that any other place already.

It took some long creaking minutes for Lew to coax himself out of bed, feeling very old when he back cracked. He rooted through the first box marked 'Lew, Clothes' and found a pair of pants to slip on and a big sweater.

The kitchen was flooded with the sunrise, and Lew squinted accusingly against the rays as he went to the coffee machine. There was fresh coffee waiting and he smiled to himself as he poured two cups. He padded about the house in search, carrying the two cups and accidentally sipping from both. 

As he was about to give up his search and just yell, he stopped at the back door, seeing movement in the garden. He smiled even wider as he pushed the door open with his hip and stepped onto the veranda.

"Morning,"

The quiet of the countryside still unnerved him at time, it triggered memories of Bastogne in the night and put him on edge like if he made too much noise a hail of fury and fire would descend upon them. He was assured that in the harvest season the peace would be completely interrupted, that he'd miss it. Lew found that hard to believe on mornings like this where he could hear the morning chorus.

The twittering birds serenaded Dick as he stood from the patch of ground he was digging in and brushed himself off. He crossed the lawn and came up the steps to Lew, slapping the mucky loves on the banister.

"Morning," Dick muttered, pressing a kiss to the edge of Lew's mouth as he took one of the coffee cups from him. He slipped his arm around Lew's waist, pulling him close. This kind of touch still made Lew tense, alert with danger. In the city there were eyes hidden everywhere and it felt like a risk to even walk too close to each other. But here the tall hedges and the rolling fields guarded their intimacy.

"How's it going?" Lew asked, sipping his drink. Dick's hand sneaked beneath his jumper, tucking into the waist of his pants casually. Lew sighed and leaned against him, melting into the embrace. 

"Pretty good. I think we can start planting tomorrow," Dick replied cheerfully. The man had been in a permanent state of cheer since they'd moved in. Lew was sure he was deranged, waking up at the crack of dawn just to fix the garden. But the man needed pet projects like Lew need his cars and his books. His thoughts were cast to the empty cabinet in the living room, devoid of alcohol since they had arrived. 

He was doing well, managed to go through the withdrawal before they'd started moving. Since then, he'd lived on coffee and ice water. He was sure it was something to do with Dick, he presence was stronger than whiskey. He wasn't a replacement though, rather a guiding hand away from that urge. Being away from the Nixon family name was also a remedy in itself.

Lew felt weightless here, but anchored by Dick's presence. 

"You're crazy, you know that," Lew sighed fondly, dropping his head back against Dick's shoulder to see Dick's smile.

"Maybe so."

"Have you eaten yet?" Lew asked.

"No."

"I'll make something when I've woken up a bit."

"Lew you can't cook. Remember last time you tried to make eggs?"

"I didn't know they weren't supposed to be like that," Lew laughed.

"They were still raw, Lew, I think I could hear them clucking."

"Aw jeez, don't say that. You'll put me off for life," Lew grumbled. Dick kissed his forehead, squeezing his hip.

"I'll come in and make something in a minute, go get some more coffee," Dick handed Lew his empty cup and stole another kiss before taking up his gloves and crossing the lawn again. Lew watched him for a minute, examining that feeling of calm that came with Dick Winters presence. He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the happy ending they deserve! hope you enjoyed x


End file.
